Halloween with my Centipede Daughter

By midnightchan

>Be typical wagecuck

>with one exception

>married a 10/10 centipede wife, been together 6 years

>winatlife.jpg

>Be stuck working Saturday even on Halloween

>dammit. At least the wife's home with daughter

>Get text. It's the wife.

<"Got called in to do an emergency surgery, need you here stat."

>that would be the family emergency clause. See you, suckers!

<"P.S. Emmy's molting, you'll have to give her a bath."

>Oh hell no. Not bathtime.

>last time it took a week for the scratches to heal

>Get home, kiss wife goodbye

>Emmy is in her room

>this requires strategy

>knock on door and step in

>"Hey kiddo, guess who's home!"

<"Daddy!"

>"And since daddy's home, you know what that means. Arm rides!"

>she loves the arm rides

>squeals with delight

>kneel down

>she's climbed over your back and coiled around your arm before you can even blink

>run around the house, her leaning into the wind like an old-time fight pilot

>oof, getting heavier though. Good thing daddy's been working out

>end in the bathroom

>close the door and take her shirt before she realizes what's going on

>as the lock clicks it dawns on her

>look turns to sheer terror

>"Now Emmy, mommy said you need to take a bath after molting."

<"Don't wanna!"

>she coils tight around your arm

>"Emmy, be good. Only good girls get extra candy after trick-or-treating."

>her eyes shine for a bit as she considers it

<"No, it feels yucky and makes my skin all itchy."

>welp, there goes the carrot, no choice but the stick

>"Emiko Okada, get down from there this instant or you'll be sorry!"

<"No!"

>she coils tighter and stares accusingly at you

>the travails of fatherhood

>dunk your arm into the bathwater

>Epic struggle

>we're talking second Fallujah here

>thrashing, screaming, accidental claw marks

>soap flying everywhere

>she manages to slip out of your grasp and crawl into the back of your tanktop. How the-?!

>nothing for it, pull it off

>cat, er, centipede's in the bag. Into the tub she goes!

>more thrashing and screaming

>haven't we done this already?

>get the shampoo

>half the water splashed over the floor

>finally done scrubbing her clean

>dry her off and open the door

>she scurries off to her room

>missionaccomplished.jpg

>Now to find some dry clothes

>there's a "makes me wet" joke in there somewhere, but you're too damn tired

* * * * *

>Be centipede daughter

>Five and a half year old now. Daddy always forgets the half!

>and it's Halloween!

>Candy! Costumes! Pranks!

>except you have two problems

>it's almost nighttime and you're all itchy because daddy made you take a bath after molting

>the big meanie!

>You also need a way to get back at Rissa

>she's a cat, mommy says a 'Chesser'

>usually she's fun, but the other day she did a mean joke

>she said you'd get candy if you put my antenna in Mandy's tail

>It tried to to eat you!

>you were stuck until Mandy's mom came to help, and Rissa just laughed!

>tonight you'll show her

>or you would, but you're out of ideas...

>Knock on the door

<"Emmy, it's almost time to trick or treat. Do you want to get your costume?"

>Hmph! You're not falling for it a second time!

>It's not like it feels nice now that your shell's hardening or anything, stupid.

<"Since you did a good job getting clean, you can even take a candy early."

>...early you say? No, stupid daddy! You won't give him the satisfaction.

>but wait, if he's giving candy now he must feel bad.

>and you hate to say it but he's really tricky

>gears turning in your head

>take on a mournful voice

>"If I come out daddy, will you help me with a problem?"

<"Sure thing, kiddo."

>let him in and explain the problem with Rissa

>she wasn't even scared of your ghost costume

>said it's kiddie stuff compared to "Aliens"

>daddy mutters something about "irsponsible parenting"

>he looks around

>sees my old shell and pauses

>his smile is super-scary *shiver*

* * * * *

>Halloween evening

>Rissa is coming

>daddy already helped you with the plan

>you get to hide inside a pumpkin! Daddy even took a picture of you.

>this is awesome!

>Rissa's here. Quick, hide!

>knocks on the door

<"Hey Emmy! Ready to go get some candy?"

>use daddy's phone like he showed you

>a spooooky scratching sound plays

>Rissa looks around nervously

<"Hey, come on, if we don't go we're gonna miss out!"

>she knocks again

>use the phone's "package receive" option

>door creaks open on its own

>dark inside

>play the sound louder. Rissa freezes before getting the courage to continue

>you stifle a giggle

<"E-Emmy? Is that you? ...c-come out, I'm not gonna get scared by a s-stupid trick like this!"

>she starts moving in

>can't see her anymore, but you can feel her steps with your antenna

>this is the part you practiced with daddy

>get the phone one more time

>time to show her!

>big red button

>press it

>molt comes swinging down at her head

<"Facehugger! Aaaaiiiiiiieeeeee!!!!!"

>jump out from the pumpkin and grab her with front legs

>screams even louder and curls up in a ball

>you skitter to her ear and whisper "Gotcha"

>Best. Halloween. Ever.


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