RAGE SHADOW NETWORK
>Anon Y. Mity
>Be wandering around public park because it's my day off
>Be wandering because theres one issue with my wife that's pissing me off
>Have hellhound wife named Shelly
>Shes short for a hellhound but all that means is I can only look he in the eye standing up straight
>I don't know if that counts as short but I do know she is fucking STACKED
>A moon on her backside big enough to have werewolves howling at noon
>Tits like the sun, because if she catches you staring at them for too long she'll sock you so hard you go blind
>And finally a face like summer, hot and angry
>Only downside is that like most hellhounds she wants to be on top everytime
>Just once, one goddamn time I want to be the one running the show the bed
>One problem arises though
>I am not what one would call a strong man. Infact as my wife so lovingly puts it, I have
<"...arms like soggy green beans and legs like clean chicken bones."
>What I wouldn't do to see the look on her face for me to crush her pelvis for once
>Suddenly bump into something that feels like a mix between flesh and solid steel
>Look at who I just bumped into
>Realize it's a faggot cat
>Realize it's a fucking shredded faggot cat
>Try to process what I am seeing and weather or not it's a jojo reference
>She grins and speaks up
<"Hey broski whats up"
>Fuck it ill vent to the faggot cat, why not
"It's about my wife. She won't let me top and I'm pissed but I don't know what to do about"
<"Bro just get some gamer supps"
"If I do and she notices I'm bulking my pelvis is gone cat"
>Not entirely true, I'm just lazy and don't want to exercise
>The cat puts her hand up to her chin and then gets a shit eating on her face
<"Not to worry broham I got just the thing for your type. Have you ever heard of RAGE SHADOW NETWORK?"
>I twitch at how close that name is to ads I keep hearing
<"They like, sell these supps based on raging mushrooms, but like don't worry cause they're totally temp brah"
>I perk up for a second
<"They ain't cheap brah but here ill bump you a spare line"
>The cat hands me a tiny bag no bigger than the nail on my thumb with some red powder in it
<"Yo just all that powder on the inside of you lip five minutes before and watch the magic happen brototelo"
>I look at the bag in my hand and look up to thank her but the cat already gone
>Goddamn faggot cats
>I walk home and get inside
>I have about an hour before Shelly gets home so I have to prepare
>First I move all the furniture out of the way except for the couch
>Afterward I remove all my clothes and put them down the laundry chute
>Next I turn off all the lights and finally take a seat on the couch with my back facing the front door
>With only close to five minutes to spare I take the powder the cat gave me and put it on the inside of my lip
>Suddenly everything goes black
>I come too when as I hear Shelly come on
<"Anoooooon I'm hooome."
>She spots me on the couch and starts taking her clothes off
<"Anon you know you shouldn't tease me like that, now I'm all hot and bothered"
>She get right behind me
<"And now that you've done this what are you gonna do about it string bean~"
>Now's my chance
>I pull her over the couch and throw her onto it.
>She flips over onto her front with a thoughts clear on her face
>They read "what the fuck"
>That's all she gets think before I'm on her
>I hold her down and position my dick before going in the for the kill
>It's like a hydraulic crusher you see in video games
>I slam my dick into her at a solid rate, not going too fast and making sure she feels every thrust
>I speak in between each thrush
>She's at a loss for words, all she can seem to do is moan
>An hour later I'm beat and collapse
>I only came like 3 times but I think the message
>About a minute more passes and I hear someone speak
<"Yo brohemian rhapsody that was a great first half"
>I whirl my head around and see that goddamn faggot cat holding
"What the fuck are you talking about"
<"Well you see bro I got this friend who's totally baller at alchemy and that supp wasn't made with raging mushroom, it like might and courage essence. Should be wearing off now though"
"No what was that about a second half"
<"Oh well bro that supp ain't just for you. See it also make your mana as bulked out as I am, powering up you wife as much... well I don't really remember the number but it's big and multiplied by how much you came."
>Suddenly I feel myself grabbed and look Shelly
>I felt like I was starting at her under 3 full moons
>The cat speaks up one last time holding her camera up to the scene
<"Yo this totes going on the prank channel bro, your gonna viral"
>At that moment I could think but one quote
>"Now we are all sons of bitches"
>That was my final thought before a long night of Shelly reducing my pelvis to atoms
>Two days I'm sitting in the hospital in a full pelvis cast
>Shelly has been by my side doting over me the entire time I've been there
>Reminds me of the day after we got married
>Pretty certain this is the same room too
<"So how you feeling now Anon"
"Same as five minutes Shelly, in pain but with a sense of accomplishment"
<"You know that wasn't to bad, maybe I SHOULD let you top more often"
"So long as you don't disintegrate my pelvis again"
<"I'll think about"
>We hear a knock at the room door and then of all people the faggot cat walks in again
>I give her my most annoyed scowl
"What do you want this time"
<"Woah chillax bromando I mean no ill will. I came to tell you you went viral! My channel went viral because of you, I totes owe you one so I paid your hospital bills. Think of it as settling any bad blood between us."
>Oh no not this time
"What's the catch, hell even if the vid went viral the cash can't have come in that quick"
<"Woah bro so hostile. I was wondering if you and Shelly could appear in more of my vids bro. The fans want what they want and they want to see more of you and her bro. Oh and don't sweat the cash, my dad owns a dealerships brah my allowance could buy this hospital."
>I'm almost in disbelief and that I just turn to Shelly and jokingly say
"What do you think Shelly?"
>She looks at me and the cat excitedly her tail going so fast you'd think it could cut metal, her smile says it all but still she says one word
>I want to groan and complain, but with a smile like that who am I to argue.
>All I do is return the smile.