Crappy Halloween Greentext

By dreamilanon

>Be Anon

>It’s Halloween, Year of now

>You’ve got a sweet mermaid wife who you are taking to the all-night Halloween ball in your city

>Unfortunately, you haven’t got the spell that turns her lower half back to normal, so you have to use a wheelchair to take her to the ball to see that girl group she loved as a kid getting a reunion for just one night

< “I’m ready anon!”

>You’re going to take her out tonight, and you have a whole city to get through. What could go wrong?

>With your last preparations ready, you decide that it’s worth a shot and decide to go

>It’s midday right now, and you are trying your damndest to get everything in order so you and her can make everything

>Unfortunately, the last bus has broken down, and thanks to the stupid situation with the city’s planning district, you’re going to have to get there on foot

>The first place you two have to run though is an old amusement park, and now you have to do something about the fact that it’s fucking closed

>Yeah, it’s a real shame

>Immediately, you run into the front gates of the place, and now you know that there are going to be lots of stupid situations in the park as soon as you can

>Thanks to the gods laughing at you, you make a mistake and take a detour into a nearby funhouse, thinking it’s going to be quicker. It’s only after the gates slam shut behind you that you both realise your mistake

>Because hybrids exist

>A hybrid of an angel and an Alice shows up, demanding that you help her prepare for the night

>Apparently this place is meant to open once the sun is down

>Thankfully, the sabbat isn’t going to be a complete mess for all the little kiddies they want to get in touch with

>Thus you embark on a fetch quest

>One fit for a brain-dead Kobold

>All the while, you do your best to avoid the stupid demon girl roaming the halls

>Thank god you managed to beat that, that has got to be one of the most strenuous experiences that you ever have done, especially since you had to carry your wife through the entire thing and not loose her wheelchair in the process

>Thank god again that monster girls were now far less likely to get into people’s pants on sight thanks to the coming of the second Maou and not complete balls of disaster

>If that didn’t happen this would be nowhere near as good as /monster/ made this situation out to be

>Eventually, you took the opportunity to sneak out in the middle of a situation where your wife managed to sing something magical to get out of it

>But only after you escaped, you had managed to realize this was going to be even harder than it looked before

>Rushing into the theme park, you saw that there was a stupid spooky scary sabbath(ton) trying to spray you with black ink

>There was the same angel/alice hybrid at the side trying her darndest to get you to try all the Halloween rides, and after enough pestering, you both agreed to only one

>Getting onto the ride, you put your wife in as well as you could with her help

<”Oh… this is way too small for me.”

>Stupid Sabbath

>Of course, the problems didn’t stop there, and before long, you realized something horrible

>This ride was crap

>Cheap fucking popup book shit

>but the real kicker was when your wife looked around nervously, and pointed at something

<”Anon? I… I think we aren’t alone…”

>Looks like something else snuck in

>Apparently the edgy sabbatites decided that monsterizing an entire amusement park ride was a good idea

>Now that sentient ride monster is trying to nab you


>Ignoring all the ride safety spiels that you had heard of, you start looking for a way to get out of this mess

>Break of those safety bars easily enough

>You jump off the track easily enough, carrying your wife with you, and you land on one of the limbs of that abomination unto god

>Not wanting to slip off thanks to holding a girl holding a wheelchair with both hands, you struggle to maintain your footing

>You slide off gently, and make a running break through the park

>getting back on track with the trip to the ball, you rush into a nearby costume/clothes store to make sure everything is in order with both of your outfits

>Except that one button on your suit

>Nervously, you go over to the store owner, and ask her for your help

>But of course, it’s an Anubis

>She takes too much time to focus on the issue, especially how to sew it in properly

>Eventually you get impatient

>You sow the whole thing properly again, and pass her money for her troubles

>She should have taken shorter

>Especially since there is now a bunch of rowdy fagkots making neighborhood children cry outside

>Especially kobolds

>Rush outside, but you get blocked by fagkots making creepy smiles

>Of course, you realise there are everywhere soon enough

>Especially in a park for kobolds

>You’re right next to a wharf, too


>In a true fit of ballsiness, you jump off the wharf, seeing no place to go

>And so, you land with a massive…


>Oh, now that you realise it, you ended up on a small metal boat

>There are oars, too, so that makes this easier

>Now, just to sail down to the…

<”Anon? I don’t think we are alone.”

>Your wife points over the side of the boat

>It’s a leviathan

>You’d heard about girls like this existing before, but not like this

>More Monster than Girl

>Said girl was slowly rising up out of the water

>It took the small rowboat you were both on with you

>Your wife used a little spell to swap out of her outfit to her diving outfit, easy enough

>But you knew that it only worked on her

<”Hold up anon, I think I can do something that can help.”

>She dived off the side of the boat, straight into the water

>Before long, you could see a whirlpool right where she landed

>The Leviathan looked down like she stepped in kobold caca

>She starts tugging at the part of her that got stuck in the whirlpool

>Before long, you hear your wife again, singing a song that muddles the leviathan’s concentration

>Seeing a chance to set things right, you brazenly decide to hop on the leviathan’s head like she’s a mario monster

>And down she goes, dragged down by the whirlpool

>You get back into the boat before she is completely submerged, and your wife climbs back in the board with you.

<”Thanks, anon!”

>Unfortunately, you didn’t notice said leviathan had a blowhole

>The boat was stuck on it


>You both go flying

>The last thing you remember is crashing through glass before you black out

>You wake up, an hour having passed since you crashed through the skylight

<”Wake up! We landed in the ball!”

>Feeling your bandaged head, you realise where you are

>Your wife is sitting beside you, sitting in her wheelchair, watching her pop group with joy

>As well as you can with your stunned head, you watch the group with a smile

>All is good

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