Quick Adventure of the FBI

By abeja

>be FBI

>trained in counter domestic terrorism

>got new assignment

>monster

>white supremacists are using that webpage to coordinate terror attacks all around the globe and kill poor PoC

>only guy on the job, since every level got budget cuts, except for the diversity & inclusion department

>in the forum, the far-alt-right suspects there are agents pretending to be them

>must pretend to be like them and understand them

>but cracking their code is hard

>can’t find a link about mamano mana and the shootings

>check every picture and video they post for hidden code or messages

>can’t find shit in anything

>every time I post, they keep telling me to kill myself or lurk more

>get banned constantly

>also, there is too much fucking porn

>regularly need to fuck woman once in a while after a few days of work

>lately can’t get it hard anymore

>start fapping to Shirohebi

>the stress is getting me, who the fuck would fap to a cartoon?

>notice that the post count is getting lower and lower

>the BO, which mean Boss Overlord, puts up a warning

IT'S HAPPENING!

>FUCK

>put in alert all the walmarts, targets and malls on high alert, there might be an attack soon

>sirens go off and the building starts running on the backup nuclear generator

>Speakers go on "We are under attack! Strange forces are… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

>Damn!

>Get gun ready, hear shoots and men screaming, join up with some agents to defend the place, I haven't cash in my weekly paycheck yet

>While running I spot the attackers

>No, it can’t be possible

>There is a nicely dress lady with a small hellhound escort dragging some agents

>"Hey, I found a husband" says a hellhound

>The vampire responds "Well, I guess you can go home now"

>She spot us "Look over there, more men, go get them!"

>Then it hits me

>It all makes sense now

>Its fucking happening!

>I abandon my fellow agents to the hellhounds and run to the armory

>Throw my gun away and gear up with non-lethals, flashbangs, teargas, kevlar armor and a gas mask

>Run to the kitchen and raid it

>Ready for everything

>Team up with single or divorce man I could find, convince them that we need to go to the underground airport to escape in a plane

>Every time a monstergirl appears I just toss a guy at her

>Keep telling the other guys it was necessary, they keep believing me

>Almost there but I run out of guys

>A hellhound appears, her flamey eyes lock on to me, before she could make a move, I roll up a newspaper

>Ears go flat, her tail hide between her legs, holy shit it’s working!

>I keep moving, she tries to make a move, so I throw her a piece of chocolate, she runs in fear

>Next door is my ticket out of here

>Open it, there is a vampire on the other side

>"Well, well, you manage to go far little…" Before she could say anything, I just toss a bunch of onions at her

>She screams and I get into the first jet I find and fly out of there

>I set course to the Land of Gold

>Man, I hope this piece of shit has enough fuel

>beep, beep!

>I look around and see a group of dragongirls flying right at me

>GOD DAMMIT!

>I set up my ace card

>They surround my aircraft and their leader plants her face on the window

>She has a smile from ear to ear when she notice I'm a guy

>With my poker face on, I show her my hand that has a wedding ring

>Realizing I'm already taken, she gets sad and flies away with her group

>I feel bad that I trick her like that, but never the less I must push on

>If I read all that lore correctly, the land of gold should be… over there!

>There is a small island in the middle of the ocean, I set my jet to land there, and by land I mean crash

>After surviving that I get off the jet

>"YOU DESTROYED MY BEAUTIFUL GARDEN! DO YOU THINK THEY GROW ON TREES?!"

>A Shirohebi is yelling while getting off a river, odds are she jumped into it when I crash landed

>"Eh, sorry about that"

>"BE SORRY BY FIXING ALL THIS PLACE UP!"

>I fix the place up just like she demanded

>Later she invites me to eat dinner at her house

>"So you work for the Ef Bee Eye?"

>"Well, I guess I'm now unemployed, do you happen to know if someone needs a hand?"

>She drinks a little bit of miso soup "I wouldn't mind having you around here to do some plumbing"

>"Do you have a problem?"

>"Yeah…I need you to check my pipes later…eh…what’s your name anyway?"

>I smile happily, something that I haven’t done in a while

>"My name is Anon"


The End


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